First up promos are over so that leaves us all to wait for the results, which should come in slightly more than a week's time. The whole process of studying was a painful yet sort of fulfilling one although I personally felt that I didn't study hard enough. I've never really felt the 'studying' environment as strongly as I've ever felt before jc.  I guess in a certain way it IS good to have such an environment because seeing people study hard motivates you to at least try to do as much as you can.

The funny thing is that somehow when you get to secondary school you realise the relative easiness of primary school. Like for me I thought secondary school in terms of academics was difficult. But then jc is really much tougher. School now really takes a lot of you. But alhamdulillah here I am now and still in one piece so I guess it's safe to say that I survived this year. A few things I'd like to share as usual

1) Optimism

School is really pressurizing and automatically it feels difficult to hold on to even a little bit of optimism.  In the middle of the journey there will be at least one failure. And immediately after you are expected to pick yourself up to work on where you went wrong so that the same thing does not happen the next time round.

It is difficult to hold on to optimism as I have experienced. But I think whatever it is it is always important to tell yourself that you will get there eventually.  I feel that is difficult to even picture myself "getting there" at this point in time. And this didn't make doing work any easier. Even though it is difficult you have to learn to calm yourself down and just keep moving. Don't panic, just do. You've got to believe that every single bit of effort that you put in now (even though does not show results now) will help you in the end because if you don't provide yourself even the most basic support that is your own self, you're not gonna be in good shape at all.

2) Loosen Up

Like how studying is a priority, so are your friends. I'm glad to say that I've been able to stay tight with my close friends from back in RG and that I've gotten even closer to some of them. It's always good to learn to chill and relax once in a while amidst all the craze that is school. Always be around people you are comfortable with and never ever ever ever ever feel that you need to change who you are for your friends. Because if you ever feel that way these people aren't exactly worth hanging around are they?

And if you did change I hope it's for the better and not the worse. You are your own judge so yea some self-reflection at times like this is always good.

Speaking about judging, it's also important not to quickly make assumptions about ANYONE. It's inevitable but it's always better to make sure that such judgements hinder you from getting to at least know the person better. Because your assumptions could be wrong, like how mine were for some.

3) Where to go from now

Haha I think this is something important but it's not exactly something I can talk about right now. So I guess this is where I leave y'all! And haha I think there's nothing special about this post. Just the usual~

Ciaozxz





A lot of things have been happening and as usual there are lessons to be learnt. School's been quite busy and all lately and well yeah sometimes it takes a toll on you. Two things I want to talk about today haha may seem quite little on my agenda list but I think there's quite a bit I want to say so brace yourselves.

1) CT Period

First examinations in junior college, a very new experience for me. Not only with regards to the level of difficulty of the exams but also the people whom I'm sitting the exam with. It's no longer just my RG batchmates; they only make up 1/3 of the school population now.

So there comes along CT prep. One whole month of holidays just isn't enough, but I guess I'm saying this partially because I could have done more with my time in some instances to make studying more fruitful. See, one lesson learnt right over there.

And then there comes the time right before the paper when you're anxious. One thing I really need to do is to keep my iman on a high so as to calm myself down. Because when I panic for a paper (and this goes for everyone as well), I can't think straight.

And then there's the results. Didn't do very well. Kind of expected it but definitely still disappointing. You know it's funny how people say that it's okay to do badly in the first CTs because that's the point at which everyone starts off from. I don't know but to me from this entire experience that statement seems to be false.

Of course at this point in time there will be people who don't do so well or do OK. But then there are those who are able to do really well. I'm not comparing myself to them and yes I agree they are different from me so our capabilities wouldn't be the same. But the fact that there are people who can do really well makes me wonder why many people say that it's normal to do badly for the first CTs (and also makes me wonder if they can do it, so can I!). Our experiences may differ and you may disagree but from where I am right now many people are doing well based on their results.

I was initially upset with my performance but after a bit of reflecting I think what is best now is that I kick things up a notch, stay positive and grow from this experience. I know where my weak points are and I know what I did wrong so at least I've learnt something which hopefully would enable me to make things better the next exam. Now just to keep the fire burning.

And also was telling a friend about how I wouldn't really tell others about how everyone does badly in the first CTs because I feel that for some people it's a sort of comfort but when reality comes it hits you hard. (FYI I didn't take that notion in that manner but yup as in I think it's something that affects you anyway? I'm not so sure how to put it in words but I hope you get what I mean.)

There will always be people who do well and that's who you should look up to. Never look down, always look up. It IS okay to do badly for now but what is important is that you gave more than a 100% effort so that you have something to be proud of. And no matter which point of the 'grade ladder' you are at right now, there is no where but up.

And maybe right now something that concerns many of us is that we may get offloaded from our respective CCA duties and all. It IS sad especially if you have the passion for what you are doing and people expect things out of you. But whether we get offloaded or not I think we should take it as a blessing ah in each case. Like let's say if you don't get offloaded, it gives you a reason to work even harder to juggle both your responsibilities and manage your time better so that you are able to better prepare for promos and at the same time do your duty to the best of your ability. If you do get offloaded, then it's time for you to really prove yourself. Use ALL your available time fruitfully because it is a blessing in a way. You may not be able to contribute as much as you wanted to to your CCA board, but yeah these things happen for a reason and if you do know you need it, make full use of it so that you can get back on board after scoring well in the next exams.

I want to end off this segment by saying Allah does not burden a person beyond his or her capacity. And this doesn't only apply to whether you are able to juggle many things. It's also about how you're able to accept failure, get back up and carry on. So even if your duties get revoked, I guess there is a positive light to it. Just have to look for it even harder. There is always some form of berkat (blessing) behind these things. If you get what I mean.

2) Ramadhan

I've been looking forward to this month for a while now and it's finally coming this weekend! I've got a few simple goals in mind for this coming Ramadhan and I guess the same goes for many other people. Though we may not be able to do much extra spiritually because we're all busy with school and all, we've to also remember that the simplest of our actions (yes, even if it is a smile) is for the sake of Allah and ultimately that means the simplest (and yet most difficult haha) thing we can do is to just make sure we're all good this Ramadhan.

And one thing that I really want to talk about here. And this doesn't only go out to you guys but it is also a huge reminder for ourselves. As you can see many things start in Ramadhan, people take things up a notch to go the extra mile to do good things during the holy month. However we must remember that whatever we do within the month doesn't stay within the month. We do more things during this month because we know that it reaps amazing blessings from Allah. But these things also reap blessings on normal days as well so there isn't any excuse for us to stop once fasting is over, because evidently we're able to do these good things so why not do them on normal days. So yup. One thing I'd hope to see in myself is maintaining whatever I implement personally in Ramadhan even after the month is over.



Yup at this moment that is all I have to say for now, insya'Allah school will be fine and that Ramadhan will be amazing. Ameen. :)


Hi there! It's been a while, and a lot of things have happened during that "a while". There are a few things that I want to write about so let's see how long I take to write this post. Haha for your benefit if you don't actually want to read the whole thing here's what I'm going to write about slowly:

1) Faith
2) Making choices
3) What I want to do with my life
4) CCAL Camp
5) CT Preps

1) Faith



Faith has always been something that I feel a sense of belonging to. To me it's one of the basic things in life because it is something that potentially makes you a stronger person.

I have seen myself grow through my religious beliefs. It is important to not only practice the religion, but also to enjoy it. And this can be achieved by understanding the stories and reasons behind why some things are the way they are. For instance, the 5 daily prayers that Muslims commit to serve the purpose as quiet time between a person and God, to surrender to Him, to gain strength through prayer, to be calm and have faith. It's a blessing that God granted upon us because He knows that we need it to sustain ourselves. And one thing that I really admire is people who take such things like this seriously so much so that they would do it anywhere as long as they can find a suitable quiet area where they wouldn't be a hindrance to anyone. These are the kind of people are exemplary because you can actually see that in their minds, prayer is always a priority no matter where they are, and they plan their day around these 5 prayers so much so that they don't miss any.

Faith is also something that constantly reminds me that I've always got to change for the better. There is always something that can be improved in a person, and trying to become a better person is an integral part of faith.

Your perception and attitudes towards your faith (be it whatever religion you belong to) kind of determines how close you are to it. Because whatever religion is written in your birth certificate or your identification card or any other document is just a label. To be of that faith you have to live it, breathe it. If you have a really positive outlook towards your faith and you're always striving to understand more with relation to it, then yeah well I think you'll feel this invisible magnet that is drawing you towards it. I'm not sure how to describe that feeling but yeah, when that kind of feeling comes, it's really amazing.

Okay I think my thoughts up there are a bit jumbled up and I didn't do much justice to the whole concept of faith (because it encompasses many things) but I shall end it off here by saying that faith is your ultimate pillar of support, something that makes you a stronger person. Iman helps in defining who you are/want to be (at least for me).

2) Making choices

Just the sound of it makes me a bit anxious because I've had my fair share of making wrong decisions. And I guess that is inevitable. And somehow at some point in time there may be a moment whereby you start questioning yourself about something you seemed so sure of before.

To me what's important is that even if you think you've made a decision wrongly, you should still do whatever you can to make the best out of it because whatever it is, you should try to make the experience as beneficial as possible. Because it's something that you chose, and how good your  experience is depends on how you make it out to be.

Maybe it's the way we look at things. Like how maybe we're seeing this 'making choices' thing as something whereby we're compromising something instead of looking at it in a more positive light whereby we're choosing a different opportunity so as to be able to grow in a certain way.

Yup but whatever it is, it all boils down to perspective.

3) What I want to do with my life

Everyone at some point in time asks themselves this question: What am I going to do with my life? For me I'm still not sure of what career I'd want to pursue at this moment, but I don't know, I think this question goes beyond that. I know there is something I want to be.

An inspiration. I guess it sounds kind of cliche but I think I'll just go with it. Because being an inspiration in itself is a blessing. To know that in some way or another, you've brought about good into peoples' lives around you, that you've taught them something that they would want to build up on.

But before you become an inspiration to others you have to be an inspiration to yourself, you know? Yup, still trying to work on that at the moment!

4) CCAL Camp

Last week was CCAL Camp at Bintan. First time to Indonesia actually (hahaha sigh), and we were camping at a resort. Just a personal opinion before I go on, it's really a potential honeymoon holiday destination, the resort I mean. Everything is so relaxed there, and it's like you're not in a rush to go to places, and all. Just a note!

Hahaha okay, generally I'm not very fond of camps but I think like other ones, this came with its own few blessings, first of which is the company I was with. My group A1, (hi guys I don't think you know my blog exists but it's okay you're still cool) was full of funny, helpful, lovely people. We may not have been as loud as other groups but that wasn't very important to us. We all gelled quite well with each other and there were quite a few funny and embarrassing moments here and there. They made camp much more bearable for me! And my tent mates are really too nice to be true.

And then there's my homies. Spent quite a bit of time with Isdiy (and Dana comes sometimes too) during the camp, sitting by the shores and just talking. It was really good having to be able to have such time with her, because we don't usually have much opportunity to talk during school period. And haha thanks for being my solat buddy. Never going to forget the time we woke up for subuh and the toilet was filled with a swarm of big red insects (still don't know what they exactly are). Love you loads sayang :)

This camp was a bit of a test for me in some ways like endurance, tolerance, openness to change and that sort of thing. And alhamdulillah, it went quite well. Missing Bintan and its beautifully amazing (Masya'Allah) starry nights. Just to side track for a bit, I love the stars. This ayat in the Quran really made me appreciate it even more.



:) Amazing miracles.

5) CT Prep

Okay now for the last thing I want to talk about for now. CTs are coming up. First ever in junior college. Mostly I'm feeling anxious but trying to keep a positive outlook of things.

Back in RG, what I remember significantly that got me through every end of year examination period in upper sec was a mind of optimism and constant pushing. Like you've got to keep telling yourself that you can do it, trust in Allah, He will help you. But you need to help yourself first. Put in effort wherever possible and just give it your best shot.

Okay, congratulations you got to the end of this really long post. It's probably going to be a while before I do up another one, this took up about 2.5 days. Hahaha. But yup I hope that the points I did want to bring across were done so effectively but if they weren't heh sorry sometimes I can't exactly put my thoughts in words properly but nonetheless hope you enjoyed it. :)

This week was campaigning period for council and it was really very fun. I enjoyed the experience very much, what with seeing how all the other nominees did their campaign and stuff. It all started off with a really tough and tight-scheduled weekend but I'm really thankful that I was given the opportunity to go through with it.

Now, all we've to do is to wait! Quite anxious, very sure everyone else is too. It's kinda like a so-close-yet-so-far thing you know? Hahaha yup! But whatever it is, I hope the people who are really deserving of it do get in because ultimately they're the ones who can carry out the duties of a councillor really well. Everyone who campaigned I'm quite sure has different things to offer to the board, and they're all amazing and it's just sad that some of us may be cut off.

Looking at the people who ran, I already feel that if I were to be in council, it'd be a super awesome experience because not only would I be able to do what I want to (like the purpose and everything), but I'd be able to do it with really fun (hahahah ok now I seriously can tell my vocabulary is really bad) and all, which adds on to the exciting experience! Well, just got to hope for the best for now, tawakkal!

I would like to thank everyone, for listening to my campaign, wishing me all the best, voting for me, forwarding my smses and emails, or any little thing you had done to help me with my campaign! I really really really am super blessed for having wonderful and supportive friends like you guys. :)

(Sadly I didn't take pictures everyone's posters/banners so nice but terlupa ish ish ish)

Today's madrasah lesson we learnt about the descent of the Quran. Ustaz wasn't there today which is sad but the Ustazah Afiqah did really a good job even though it's her first time teaching a group of people from my age group (or relatively from my age group)! The lesson was inspiring because to me, what I got from it was how Allah swt simply wants to make things easy for us, and whatever He does is for the best of all of us. And at the same time, He is putting us through this test called life and in actual fact whatever challenges He poses to us, is definitely something that we can overcome. It just depends on how we do it. Like for example these verses in the Quran: 


"Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope." - Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 286
"And We tax not any person except according to his capacity" - Surah Al-Mu'minun, Verse 62



Okay, now back to madrasah. So today one of the points we learnt about was the wisdom behind the gradual revelation (wahyu) of the Quran. The Quran was brought down to mankind when it was conveyed by the final prophet, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. It wasn't brought down as a whole thing in one shot, but gradually in verses. The Quran is amazing because it's full of history, Shari'ah (islamic law) and guidance from God.

I'm really inspired by the fact that this revelation was a gradual process, because I realise how it still applies to today. Like Allah swt made it in such a way so that it was easier for mankind to adapt to changes, like how alcohol consumption was slowly made unlawful. This example was given in class today so I shall just use it as a form of analogy. Like how before the revelation was brought down, people had this habit of drinking, and in Islam, we believe that it brings negative consequences because it brings about intoxication when consumed largely, and thus it's ban so as to prevent this from happening altogether. Initially, during the earlier stage of the revelation, the consumption of alcohol was only banned right before the supplication of prayer, but slowly during the gradual process, it became something that was made illegal altogether in Shari'ah law.

This kind of approach to me is really somehow what we should be doing today. Like how during Math lessons we slowly get gelled to the different parts of a topic before actually tackling challenging questions. It's like people in general prefer being slowly introduced to a particular idea instead of having something shoved down their throats. And that's how God did it because He knew that it is the better way to approach things.

But when it came to things like zina (unlawful intercourse) Allah stated it in the Quran as something unlawful right from the start. Because these things are sacred and personal and I guess it's also to protect us. From doing something we may regret? And things like how we should treat our women right, because during the time before the revelation there were female infanticides and sharing of wives and everything. So Allah swt made it a strict rule in the Quran (i.e. with no gradual process) where women need to be treated in the right manner so as to make sure that these groups of people are given the respect that they deserve.

What I really could take away from this lesson is that Allah swt is the Most-Knowing and that He knew what approach to take for certain measures. And I think this can really be applied to all of us now. Like if we see something totally wrong, we have to immediately stop it. And if it's something like a bad habit, we gradually get out of it. So it makes things, easier, simpler, and of course, right.

Yup that's all! Just felt like sharing the message. :) Have a good week ahead everyone!

Hahaha hi! The title reminds me of subject round ups I had back in RG. I really miss RG. JC has been quite a big change for me this year (like doh) and for everyone else also so I think what I should do is like a little round up for my sake (and hopefully my lovely friends out there too hi sayangs) so like I'm more prepped and ready for the second term of school!!

Problems people in general face once they step into JC

So, before I entered tertiary education I already heard stuff from my seniors. But well I guess some of it is true but others it's either not true or I can't remember what they told me in the first place. Haha but I guess it doesn't really matter once I actually get to experience the whole thing for myself and like evaluate it.

So like the general matters I guess for everyone would be things like managing new friendships, making effort to make old ones last like before, seeing your friends change, getting used to the lecture-tutorial system, the fact that now no one is gonna pester your butt to keep on doing your work, self-consciousness and the list goes on ah.

And the fact that these different things are going on simultaneously can be quite overwhelming for some people. And then they just feel sad. :(

What changes people go through

You can see changes in people when you go to JC. For me I do see good changes like how some people are more open now to making new friends and adjusting to the new environment. Like the quieter ones back in secondary school you can see them as more outgoing now (to me ah but maybe it's cos I didn't really bump into them as often in RG as I do here). And of course there are changes in people that you wouldn't really be comfortable with I mean these things are inevitable right.

What I think I should do to handle these changes (and hopefully for the people around me too)

So personally it wasn't easy for me. Like it takes me a while to get used to the new environment and system and everything. But there were things that did make it easier for me like the fact that I still do have my lovelies and my bros and everything to ensure that I'm okay and cool and awesome like I usually am. The same goes for the people around me. Like when I read people's blogposts and twitters they sometimes do sound really sad because people are having a tough time adjusting to the new environment and everything. I think it's because of the shift from secondary to JC. Like how the shift from primary to secondary was difficult for some (including myself too). So I think it's something that can be overcome. For all of us (insya'Allah) as long as we put in effort to make JC the best for ourselves. Mum says that sometimes I've got to change my attitude so that you know I can make the most out of a certain thing, and I really think she is right. Seniors all say 'JC is what you make it out to be' which I guess is the same message all in all. Your attitude affects how you do things, what you do, and then this will then determine how much enjoyment you have. And yup that's how it goes..

And like the holidays (hahah well it just started but anyway) got me thinking of how like I can make term 2 better for myself (and I really think that this would go for others as well or at least some ah)

1) Iman & Usaha (Faith and effort hahaha sorry somehow it sounds better in Malay I don't mean to be racist or what but it's the feeling you know)

This is kind of like my life motto. And it did get me through upper sec successfully alhamdulillah. To me faith comprises many things, like faith in God, faith in yourself, faith that things will get better. And effort is like the amount of work and determination and drive you have that will make you want to do what you can to ensure that something is successful. I always told myself this, during major periods like End of Years, and Perbayu Drama, and yes it really did push me forward back in RG, and insya'Allah it will now too.

2) Optimism

I know being realistic is really important (hahaha). But being optimistic is somehow like a booster for me. Like you can't always tell yourself things that can bring you down like 'aiya I suck at so-and-so' and all that because it will make you feel lousy. And what's the point in that. Yes I do get sometimes it's the spur of the moment when you're frustrated and everything, but it's always important to think positive so that you feel lighter and more motivated to do something. Like if I told myself that if I keep on drilling myself in Math I will improve on it (and my teacher did tell me this and honestly it really did work) when my Math was quite terrible. That's optimism.

3) Being brave to face up to things

It's inevitable to worry about what others think of you, about how you will do in exams like As, whether you'll end up in a certain position (like council haha yup some of you are running too! jitters!). But what's important is that you just move on steadfast and not worry so much. As long as you're doing the best you can, then you shouldn't have yourself to blame. You shouldn't worry about what people think (yes easier said than done I know I know) because as long as you know what you're doing isn't wrong then I don't see what's there to worry about! It's like that principle of governance in SS we learnt last year, do what is right not what is popular. Okay but sometimes what's popular is what is right but I think you all get the point. And like As, some of us already feeling nervous about it and okay the feeling's definitely worse for the J2s, but we shouldn't just stick to that emotion of fear but do something fruitful so that emotion has no reason to be there. And be brave to face up to failure. Like in life we can't always get what we want, so just make sure that when you fail in something, you just move forward and do other things that can benefit your time better. Of course some time for self-reflection may do some some good. And also, be brave to try out for new things. I think that speaks for itself. Like you get new experiences, make new friends, and all is good. You may learn a new thing or two.

4) Intentions are clear

This is something that I really think is very important. Not just in JC context, but in everything. Like you need to make sure the reason why you want to go forth with something is a good one. Not just because other people are doing it, not just for the sake of earning something. I don't really know how to put it otherwise and I think this point really explains itself.

5) Open-mindedness

Whatever changes you go through, it's crucial that you accept them and think about how you're gonna get through them. We shouldn't all just stick to the past because that doesn't really benefit us in any way. Although sometimes reminiscing feels good :) Just be open to new things, and try to adapt. Because that way you won't feel tied down and uneasy with whatever is going on.

Yup that's generally all I have for now. And yeah it's quite a long and draggy post so if you made it to this point I'd like to say thanks for reading and hope it's been beneficial for you as it has been for me. And yup maybe some of it's the same old advice. But sometimes old is good. Hahahaha. Take time off this holiday to take things a bit slow, catch up on work, and to do a self-check. And insya'Allah term 2 will be a better one for all of us. :) Amin!!!

It feels weird being seventeen. I didn't really feel like I was ready to be a year older yet, and I wasn't really in the birthday mood, but I'm absolutely grateful for having a wonderful family (and this includes my lovelies you know who you are guys) for going out of their way to make sure that it was a good and happy day for me :)

1) My mum made a cake and it's super cute!! It's a moist chocolate cake kind of thing and she usually doesn't make cakes so much so the fact that she did it for my birthday really touched me so much. And what's even cuter was she made a :-) face with chopped up almonds on the surface of the cake. My mum's super cute!! And whoever saw the picture of the cake would agree with me totally haha.

2) The birthday sign. I think this was planned by Moi, Nin, Tall, Small and maybe Ziqah and some others I'm not very sure! But basically they made me walk around in school the whole day with a sign saying 'Hi it's my birthday!'. Random schoolmates just came up to me to wish me and yeah haha it was sweet of them (so hi schoolmates thank you for playing a part in making my day) but also paiseh at the same time.


3) The mini brownie cake by my homies! The surprise part was fail because Hanin gave it away but it's okay it's all good I'm so touched they went all out to get a cute brownie cake. Although their initial cake plan didn't work guys I really did love this one a lot. Mostly because it was by you all :)

4) Secret Santa gig. So my gang meaning Small Tall Z Manda and Chergs decided to give me this anonymous birthday message through the Secret Santa delivery thing in lieu of Valentines' Day in school. One piece of letter only had one word so it was supposed to look like I had many 'admirers'! The plan was fail though because I only got it two days late and it came in a bulk so.. hahaha but it's okay my classmates did believe that I had many admirers so hi lovelies your plan did work somewhat! So the final outcome of the birthday message looks like this! Idk if it's clear enough for you all to see, but it's really cute :)

First up promos are over so that leaves us all to wait for the results, which should come in slightly more than a week's time. The whole process of studying was a painful yet sort of fulfilling one although I personally felt that I didn't study hard enough. I've never really felt the 'studying' environment as strongly as I've ever felt before jc.  I guess in a certain way it IS good to have such an environment because seeing people study hard motivates you to at least try to do as much as you can.

The funny thing is that somehow when you get to secondary school you realise the relative easiness of primary school. Like for me I thought secondary school in terms of academics was difficult. But then jc is really much tougher. School now really takes a lot of you. But alhamdulillah here I am now and still in one piece so I guess it's safe to say that I survived this year. A few things I'd like to share as usual

1) Optimism

School is really pressurizing and automatically it feels difficult to hold on to even a little bit of optimism.  In the middle of the journey there will be at least one failure. And immediately after you are expected to pick yourself up to work on where you went wrong so that the same thing does not happen the next time round.

It is difficult to hold on to optimism as I have experienced. But I think whatever it is it is always important to tell yourself that you will get there eventually.  I feel that is difficult to even picture myself "getting there" at this point in time. And this didn't make doing work any easier. Even though it is difficult you have to learn to calm yourself down and just keep moving. Don't panic, just do. You've got to believe that every single bit of effort that you put in now (even though does not show results now) will help you in the end because if you don't provide yourself even the most basic support that is your own self, you're not gonna be in good shape at all.

2) Loosen Up

Like how studying is a priority, so are your friends. I'm glad to say that I've been able to stay tight with my close friends from back in RG and that I've gotten even closer to some of them. It's always good to learn to chill and relax once in a while amidst all the craze that is school. Always be around people you are comfortable with and never ever ever ever ever feel that you need to change who you are for your friends. Because if you ever feel that way these people aren't exactly worth hanging around are they?

And if you did change I hope it's for the better and not the worse. You are your own judge so yea some self-reflection at times like this is always good.

Speaking about judging, it's also important not to quickly make assumptions about ANYONE. It's inevitable but it's always better to make sure that such judgements hinder you from getting to at least know the person better. Because your assumptions could be wrong, like how mine were for some.

3) Where to go from now

Haha I think this is something important but it's not exactly something I can talk about right now. So I guess this is where I leave y'all! And haha I think there's nothing special about this post. Just the usual~

Ciaozxz





A lot of things have been happening and as usual there are lessons to be learnt. School's been quite busy and all lately and well yeah sometimes it takes a toll on you. Two things I want to talk about today haha may seem quite little on my agenda list but I think there's quite a bit I want to say so brace yourselves.

1) CT Period

First examinations in junior college, a very new experience for me. Not only with regards to the level of difficulty of the exams but also the people whom I'm sitting the exam with. It's no longer just my RG batchmates; they only make up 1/3 of the school population now.

So there comes along CT prep. One whole month of holidays just isn't enough, but I guess I'm saying this partially because I could have done more with my time in some instances to make studying more fruitful. See, one lesson learnt right over there.

And then there comes the time right before the paper when you're anxious. One thing I really need to do is to keep my iman on a high so as to calm myself down. Because when I panic for a paper (and this goes for everyone as well), I can't think straight.

And then there's the results. Didn't do very well. Kind of expected it but definitely still disappointing. You know it's funny how people say that it's okay to do badly in the first CTs because that's the point at which everyone starts off from. I don't know but to me from this entire experience that statement seems to be false.

Of course at this point in time there will be people who don't do so well or do OK. But then there are those who are able to do really well. I'm not comparing myself to them and yes I agree they are different from me so our capabilities wouldn't be the same. But the fact that there are people who can do really well makes me wonder why many people say that it's normal to do badly for the first CTs (and also makes me wonder if they can do it, so can I!). Our experiences may differ and you may disagree but from where I am right now many people are doing well based on their results.

I was initially upset with my performance but after a bit of reflecting I think what is best now is that I kick things up a notch, stay positive and grow from this experience. I know where my weak points are and I know what I did wrong so at least I've learnt something which hopefully would enable me to make things better the next exam. Now just to keep the fire burning.

And also was telling a friend about how I wouldn't really tell others about how everyone does badly in the first CTs because I feel that for some people it's a sort of comfort but when reality comes it hits you hard. (FYI I didn't take that notion in that manner but yup as in I think it's something that affects you anyway? I'm not so sure how to put it in words but I hope you get what I mean.)

There will always be people who do well and that's who you should look up to. Never look down, always look up. It IS okay to do badly for now but what is important is that you gave more than a 100% effort so that you have something to be proud of. And no matter which point of the 'grade ladder' you are at right now, there is no where but up.

And maybe right now something that concerns many of us is that we may get offloaded from our respective CCA duties and all. It IS sad especially if you have the passion for what you are doing and people expect things out of you. But whether we get offloaded or not I think we should take it as a blessing ah in each case. Like let's say if you don't get offloaded, it gives you a reason to work even harder to juggle both your responsibilities and manage your time better so that you are able to better prepare for promos and at the same time do your duty to the best of your ability. If you do get offloaded, then it's time for you to really prove yourself. Use ALL your available time fruitfully because it is a blessing in a way. You may not be able to contribute as much as you wanted to to your CCA board, but yeah these things happen for a reason and if you do know you need it, make full use of it so that you can get back on board after scoring well in the next exams.

I want to end off this segment by saying Allah does not burden a person beyond his or her capacity. And this doesn't only apply to whether you are able to juggle many things. It's also about how you're able to accept failure, get back up and carry on. So even if your duties get revoked, I guess there is a positive light to it. Just have to look for it even harder. There is always some form of berkat (blessing) behind these things. If you get what I mean.

2) Ramadhan

I've been looking forward to this month for a while now and it's finally coming this weekend! I've got a few simple goals in mind for this coming Ramadhan and I guess the same goes for many other people. Though we may not be able to do much extra spiritually because we're all busy with school and all, we've to also remember that the simplest of our actions (yes, even if it is a smile) is for the sake of Allah and ultimately that means the simplest (and yet most difficult haha) thing we can do is to just make sure we're all good this Ramadhan.

And one thing that I really want to talk about here. And this doesn't only go out to you guys but it is also a huge reminder for ourselves. As you can see many things start in Ramadhan, people take things up a notch to go the extra mile to do good things during the holy month. However we must remember that whatever we do within the month doesn't stay within the month. We do more things during this month because we know that it reaps amazing blessings from Allah. But these things also reap blessings on normal days as well so there isn't any excuse for us to stop once fasting is over, because evidently we're able to do these good things so why not do them on normal days. So yup. One thing I'd hope to see in myself is maintaining whatever I implement personally in Ramadhan even after the month is over.



Yup at this moment that is all I have to say for now, insya'Allah school will be fine and that Ramadhan will be amazing. Ameen. :)


Hi there! It's been a while, and a lot of things have happened during that "a while". There are a few things that I want to write about so let's see how long I take to write this post. Haha for your benefit if you don't actually want to read the whole thing here's what I'm going to write about slowly:

1) Faith
2) Making choices
3) What I want to do with my life
4) CCAL Camp
5) CT Preps

1) Faith



Faith has always been something that I feel a sense of belonging to. To me it's one of the basic things in life because it is something that potentially makes you a stronger person.

I have seen myself grow through my religious beliefs. It is important to not only practice the religion, but also to enjoy it. And this can be achieved by understanding the stories and reasons behind why some things are the way they are. For instance, the 5 daily prayers that Muslims commit to serve the purpose as quiet time between a person and God, to surrender to Him, to gain strength through prayer, to be calm and have faith. It's a blessing that God granted upon us because He knows that we need it to sustain ourselves. And one thing that I really admire is people who take such things like this seriously so much so that they would do it anywhere as long as they can find a suitable quiet area where they wouldn't be a hindrance to anyone. These are the kind of people are exemplary because you can actually see that in their minds, prayer is always a priority no matter where they are, and they plan their day around these 5 prayers so much so that they don't miss any.

Faith is also something that constantly reminds me that I've always got to change for the better. There is always something that can be improved in a person, and trying to become a better person is an integral part of faith.

Your perception and attitudes towards your faith (be it whatever religion you belong to) kind of determines how close you are to it. Because whatever religion is written in your birth certificate or your identification card or any other document is just a label. To be of that faith you have to live it, breathe it. If you have a really positive outlook towards your faith and you're always striving to understand more with relation to it, then yeah well I think you'll feel this invisible magnet that is drawing you towards it. I'm not sure how to describe that feeling but yeah, when that kind of feeling comes, it's really amazing.

Okay I think my thoughts up there are a bit jumbled up and I didn't do much justice to the whole concept of faith (because it encompasses many things) but I shall end it off here by saying that faith is your ultimate pillar of support, something that makes you a stronger person. Iman helps in defining who you are/want to be (at least for me).

2) Making choices

Just the sound of it makes me a bit anxious because I've had my fair share of making wrong decisions. And I guess that is inevitable. And somehow at some point in time there may be a moment whereby you start questioning yourself about something you seemed so sure of before.

To me what's important is that even if you think you've made a decision wrongly, you should still do whatever you can to make the best out of it because whatever it is, you should try to make the experience as beneficial as possible. Because it's something that you chose, and how good your  experience is depends on how you make it out to be.

Maybe it's the way we look at things. Like how maybe we're seeing this 'making choices' thing as something whereby we're compromising something instead of looking at it in a more positive light whereby we're choosing a different opportunity so as to be able to grow in a certain way.

Yup but whatever it is, it all boils down to perspective.

3) What I want to do with my life

Everyone at some point in time asks themselves this question: What am I going to do with my life? For me I'm still not sure of what career I'd want to pursue at this moment, but I don't know, I think this question goes beyond that. I know there is something I want to be.

An inspiration. I guess it sounds kind of cliche but I think I'll just go with it. Because being an inspiration in itself is a blessing. To know that in some way or another, you've brought about good into peoples' lives around you, that you've taught them something that they would want to build up on.

But before you become an inspiration to others you have to be an inspiration to yourself, you know? Yup, still trying to work on that at the moment!

4) CCAL Camp

Last week was CCAL Camp at Bintan. First time to Indonesia actually (hahaha sigh), and we were camping at a resort. Just a personal opinion before I go on, it's really a potential honeymoon holiday destination, the resort I mean. Everything is so relaxed there, and it's like you're not in a rush to go to places, and all. Just a note!

Hahaha okay, generally I'm not very fond of camps but I think like other ones, this came with its own few blessings, first of which is the company I was with. My group A1, (hi guys I don't think you know my blog exists but it's okay you're still cool) was full of funny, helpful, lovely people. We may not have been as loud as other groups but that wasn't very important to us. We all gelled quite well with each other and there were quite a few funny and embarrassing moments here and there. They made camp much more bearable for me! And my tent mates are really too nice to be true.

And then there's my homies. Spent quite a bit of time with Isdiy (and Dana comes sometimes too) during the camp, sitting by the shores and just talking. It was really good having to be able to have such time with her, because we don't usually have much opportunity to talk during school period. And haha thanks for being my solat buddy. Never going to forget the time we woke up for subuh and the toilet was filled with a swarm of big red insects (still don't know what they exactly are). Love you loads sayang :)

This camp was a bit of a test for me in some ways like endurance, tolerance, openness to change and that sort of thing. And alhamdulillah, it went quite well. Missing Bintan and its beautifully amazing (Masya'Allah) starry nights. Just to side track for a bit, I love the stars. This ayat in the Quran really made me appreciate it even more.



:) Amazing miracles.

5) CT Prep

Okay now for the last thing I want to talk about for now. CTs are coming up. First ever in junior college. Mostly I'm feeling anxious but trying to keep a positive outlook of things.

Back in RG, what I remember significantly that got me through every end of year examination period in upper sec was a mind of optimism and constant pushing. Like you've got to keep telling yourself that you can do it, trust in Allah, He will help you. But you need to help yourself first. Put in effort wherever possible and just give it your best shot.

Okay, congratulations you got to the end of this really long post. It's probably going to be a while before I do up another one, this took up about 2.5 days. Hahaha. But yup I hope that the points I did want to bring across were done so effectively but if they weren't heh sorry sometimes I can't exactly put my thoughts in words properly but nonetheless hope you enjoyed it. :)

This week was campaigning period for council and it was really very fun. I enjoyed the experience very much, what with seeing how all the other nominees did their campaign and stuff. It all started off with a really tough and tight-scheduled weekend but I'm really thankful that I was given the opportunity to go through with it.

Now, all we've to do is to wait! Quite anxious, very sure everyone else is too. It's kinda like a so-close-yet-so-far thing you know? Hahaha yup! But whatever it is, I hope the people who are really deserving of it do get in because ultimately they're the ones who can carry out the duties of a councillor really well. Everyone who campaigned I'm quite sure has different things to offer to the board, and they're all amazing and it's just sad that some of us may be cut off.

Looking at the people who ran, I already feel that if I were to be in council, it'd be a super awesome experience because not only would I be able to do what I want to (like the purpose and everything), but I'd be able to do it with really fun (hahahah ok now I seriously can tell my vocabulary is really bad) and all, which adds on to the exciting experience! Well, just got to hope for the best for now, tawakkal!

I would like to thank everyone, for listening to my campaign, wishing me all the best, voting for me, forwarding my smses and emails, or any little thing you had done to help me with my campaign! I really really really am super blessed for having wonderful and supportive friends like you guys. :)

(Sadly I didn't take pictures everyone's posters/banners so nice but terlupa ish ish ish)

Today's madrasah lesson we learnt about the descent of the Quran. Ustaz wasn't there today which is sad but the Ustazah Afiqah did really a good job even though it's her first time teaching a group of people from my age group (or relatively from my age group)! The lesson was inspiring because to me, what I got from it was how Allah swt simply wants to make things easy for us, and whatever He does is for the best of all of us. And at the same time, He is putting us through this test called life and in actual fact whatever challenges He poses to us, is definitely something that we can overcome. It just depends on how we do it. Like for example these verses in the Quran: 


"Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope." - Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 286
"And We tax not any person except according to his capacity" - Surah Al-Mu'minun, Verse 62



Okay, now back to madrasah. So today one of the points we learnt about was the wisdom behind the gradual revelation (wahyu) of the Quran. The Quran was brought down to mankind when it was conveyed by the final prophet, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. It wasn't brought down as a whole thing in one shot, but gradually in verses. The Quran is amazing because it's full of history, Shari'ah (islamic law) and guidance from God.

I'm really inspired by the fact that this revelation was a gradual process, because I realise how it still applies to today. Like Allah swt made it in such a way so that it was easier for mankind to adapt to changes, like how alcohol consumption was slowly made unlawful. This example was given in class today so I shall just use it as a form of analogy. Like how before the revelation was brought down, people had this habit of drinking, and in Islam, we believe that it brings negative consequences because it brings about intoxication when consumed largely, and thus it's ban so as to prevent this from happening altogether. Initially, during the earlier stage of the revelation, the consumption of alcohol was only banned right before the supplication of prayer, but slowly during the gradual process, it became something that was made illegal altogether in Shari'ah law.

This kind of approach to me is really somehow what we should be doing today. Like how during Math lessons we slowly get gelled to the different parts of a topic before actually tackling challenging questions. It's like people in general prefer being slowly introduced to a particular idea instead of having something shoved down their throats. And that's how God did it because He knew that it is the better way to approach things.

But when it came to things like zina (unlawful intercourse) Allah stated it in the Quran as something unlawful right from the start. Because these things are sacred and personal and I guess it's also to protect us. From doing something we may regret? And things like how we should treat our women right, because during the time before the revelation there were female infanticides and sharing of wives and everything. So Allah swt made it a strict rule in the Quran (i.e. with no gradual process) where women need to be treated in the right manner so as to make sure that these groups of people are given the respect that they deserve.

What I really could take away from this lesson is that Allah swt is the Most-Knowing and that He knew what approach to take for certain measures. And I think this can really be applied to all of us now. Like if we see something totally wrong, we have to immediately stop it. And if it's something like a bad habit, we gradually get out of it. So it makes things, easier, simpler, and of course, right.

Yup that's all! Just felt like sharing the message. :) Have a good week ahead everyone!

Hahaha hi! The title reminds me of subject round ups I had back in RG. I really miss RG. JC has been quite a big change for me this year (like doh) and for everyone else also so I think what I should do is like a little round up for my sake (and hopefully my lovely friends out there too hi sayangs) so like I'm more prepped and ready for the second term of school!!

Problems people in general face once they step into JC

So, before I entered tertiary education I already heard stuff from my seniors. But well I guess some of it is true but others it's either not true or I can't remember what they told me in the first place. Haha but I guess it doesn't really matter once I actually get to experience the whole thing for myself and like evaluate it.

So like the general matters I guess for everyone would be things like managing new friendships, making effort to make old ones last like before, seeing your friends change, getting used to the lecture-tutorial system, the fact that now no one is gonna pester your butt to keep on doing your work, self-consciousness and the list goes on ah.

And the fact that these different things are going on simultaneously can be quite overwhelming for some people. And then they just feel sad. :(

What changes people go through

You can see changes in people when you go to JC. For me I do see good changes like how some people are more open now to making new friends and adjusting to the new environment. Like the quieter ones back in secondary school you can see them as more outgoing now (to me ah but maybe it's cos I didn't really bump into them as often in RG as I do here). And of course there are changes in people that you wouldn't really be comfortable with I mean these things are inevitable right.

What I think I should do to handle these changes (and hopefully for the people around me too)

So personally it wasn't easy for me. Like it takes me a while to get used to the new environment and system and everything. But there were things that did make it easier for me like the fact that I still do have my lovelies and my bros and everything to ensure that I'm okay and cool and awesome like I usually am. The same goes for the people around me. Like when I read people's blogposts and twitters they sometimes do sound really sad because people are having a tough time adjusting to the new environment and everything. I think it's because of the shift from secondary to JC. Like how the shift from primary to secondary was difficult for some (including myself too). So I think it's something that can be overcome. For all of us (insya'Allah) as long as we put in effort to make JC the best for ourselves. Mum says that sometimes I've got to change my attitude so that you know I can make the most out of a certain thing, and I really think she is right. Seniors all say 'JC is what you make it out to be' which I guess is the same message all in all. Your attitude affects how you do things, what you do, and then this will then determine how much enjoyment you have. And yup that's how it goes..

And like the holidays (hahah well it just started but anyway) got me thinking of how like I can make term 2 better for myself (and I really think that this would go for others as well or at least some ah)

1) Iman & Usaha (Faith and effort hahaha sorry somehow it sounds better in Malay I don't mean to be racist or what but it's the feeling you know)

This is kind of like my life motto. And it did get me through upper sec successfully alhamdulillah. To me faith comprises many things, like faith in God, faith in yourself, faith that things will get better. And effort is like the amount of work and determination and drive you have that will make you want to do what you can to ensure that something is successful. I always told myself this, during major periods like End of Years, and Perbayu Drama, and yes it really did push me forward back in RG, and insya'Allah it will now too.

2) Optimism

I know being realistic is really important (hahaha). But being optimistic is somehow like a booster for me. Like you can't always tell yourself things that can bring you down like 'aiya I suck at so-and-so' and all that because it will make you feel lousy. And what's the point in that. Yes I do get sometimes it's the spur of the moment when you're frustrated and everything, but it's always important to think positive so that you feel lighter and more motivated to do something. Like if I told myself that if I keep on drilling myself in Math I will improve on it (and my teacher did tell me this and honestly it really did work) when my Math was quite terrible. That's optimism.

3) Being brave to face up to things

It's inevitable to worry about what others think of you, about how you will do in exams like As, whether you'll end up in a certain position (like council haha yup some of you are running too! jitters!). But what's important is that you just move on steadfast and not worry so much. As long as you're doing the best you can, then you shouldn't have yourself to blame. You shouldn't worry about what people think (yes easier said than done I know I know) because as long as you know what you're doing isn't wrong then I don't see what's there to worry about! It's like that principle of governance in SS we learnt last year, do what is right not what is popular. Okay but sometimes what's popular is what is right but I think you all get the point. And like As, some of us already feeling nervous about it and okay the feeling's definitely worse for the J2s, but we shouldn't just stick to that emotion of fear but do something fruitful so that emotion has no reason to be there. And be brave to face up to failure. Like in life we can't always get what we want, so just make sure that when you fail in something, you just move forward and do other things that can benefit your time better. Of course some time for self-reflection may do some some good. And also, be brave to try out for new things. I think that speaks for itself. Like you get new experiences, make new friends, and all is good. You may learn a new thing or two.

4) Intentions are clear

This is something that I really think is very important. Not just in JC context, but in everything. Like you need to make sure the reason why you want to go forth with something is a good one. Not just because other people are doing it, not just for the sake of earning something. I don't really know how to put it otherwise and I think this point really explains itself.

5) Open-mindedness

Whatever changes you go through, it's crucial that you accept them and think about how you're gonna get through them. We shouldn't all just stick to the past because that doesn't really benefit us in any way. Although sometimes reminiscing feels good :) Just be open to new things, and try to adapt. Because that way you won't feel tied down and uneasy with whatever is going on.

Yup that's generally all I have for now. And yeah it's quite a long and draggy post so if you made it to this point I'd like to say thanks for reading and hope it's been beneficial for you as it has been for me. And yup maybe some of it's the same old advice. But sometimes old is good. Hahahaha. Take time off this holiday to take things a bit slow, catch up on work, and to do a self-check. And insya'Allah term 2 will be a better one for all of us. :) Amin!!!

It feels weird being seventeen. I didn't really feel like I was ready to be a year older yet, and I wasn't really in the birthday mood, but I'm absolutely grateful for having a wonderful family (and this includes my lovelies you know who you are guys) for going out of their way to make sure that it was a good and happy day for me :)

1) My mum made a cake and it's super cute!! It's a moist chocolate cake kind of thing and she usually doesn't make cakes so much so the fact that she did it for my birthday really touched me so much. And what's even cuter was she made a :-) face with chopped up almonds on the surface of the cake. My mum's super cute!! And whoever saw the picture of the cake would agree with me totally haha.

2) The birthday sign. I think this was planned by Moi, Nin, Tall, Small and maybe Ziqah and some others I'm not very sure! But basically they made me walk around in school the whole day with a sign saying 'Hi it's my birthday!'. Random schoolmates just came up to me to wish me and yeah haha it was sweet of them (so hi schoolmates thank you for playing a part in making my day) but also paiseh at the same time.


3) The mini brownie cake by my homies! The surprise part was fail because Hanin gave it away but it's okay it's all good I'm so touched they went all out to get a cute brownie cake. Although their initial cake plan didn't work guys I really did love this one a lot. Mostly because it was by you all :)

4) Secret Santa gig. So my gang meaning Small Tall Z Manda and Chergs decided to give me this anonymous birthday message through the Secret Santa delivery thing in lieu of Valentines' Day in school. One piece of letter only had one word so it was supposed to look like I had many 'admirers'! The plan was fail though because I only got it two days late and it came in a bulk so.. hahaha but it's okay my classmates did believe that I had many admirers so hi lovelies your plan did work somewhat! So the final outcome of the birthday message looks like this! Idk if it's clear enough for you all to see, but it's really cute :)